Hmm.......in retrospect

Things I have to do before becoming a Real Housewife of NYC

2010-06-25T16:03:00.004-04:00

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a sucker for a reality tv show. My favorite series is Bravo's Real Housewives. They have had many seasons in different areas throughout the nation such as Orange County California, New Jersey, Atlanta and New York City. I love them, every single one of them. So the question is..........could I be a Real Housewife of NYC? My friend, Nam, has suggested that I try getting onto the show as it needs a younger perspective..........hmmmm, what is the difference between myself and these ladies? Could I hang with them.....or, an even better question, could they hang with me? Anyone looking to begin a new endeavor has to re-evaluate themselves and see what they have to do to get to their goal. So what would I have to do to become a Real Housewife?

1. I would have to buy a house in the Hamptons. Not only do almost all of these ladies have a spacious Manhattan apartment (which I would also have to get because I don't think a film crew could all fit in my cozy 700sq ft) but most of them also have a house in the Hamptons. For you Jersey people, this is like having a shore house on crack. Each weekend the rich people of NYC jump in their cars (or car services) and ride out to the tip of Long Island to go to the Hamptons. These women leave their probable million or so dollar apartment and go to their multi-million dollar summer house. But if I have to do it to get on the show I guess I could suffer through it ;)

2. I would have to start getting dermatologic procedures done. Either chemical peels, or botox and restaline injections. These ladies are obsessed with their skin and looking younger and consider themselves all nat-u-ral because those procedures "are not plastic surgery".........riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So I guess I will have lip injections and a chemical peel. Put me in for next Friday so I have the weekend to heal and de-puff.

3. My mouth.......well, my potty mouth. These ladies don't hold much back so my lack of internal dialogue will help me fit right in, but the potty mouth I would have to work on. It would be a shame if you couldn't hear the good point that I was making if are you hear are bleeps the entire time. Even my beloved husband has referred to me as a "drunken sailor" when I really get on a roll. I guess I should start working on my vocabulary so that I can better describe my feelings when those bleeping bleeps get on my last nerve.

4. I would have to become a lady of leisure. I could do that......enough said. Already working on it with my cocktail in hand and my research on which charity I want to through my beautiful smile behind. Harlem Children's Zone....call me

So that's it. I'm ready to change for you Bravo tv. Have your people call me, and I'll be ready to start filming for the next season.

lynsay 0; cleaning lady 1

2010-06-10T19:43:00.004-04:00

I went to take a pre-overnigt work nap today. I was so excited because the bed was made with crisp clean sheets....until I climbed into bed to enjoy. The cleaning lady had tucked the bed so tightly that my lower legs kept falling asleep due to lack of blood flow. Then I tried to get out of bed to pee and found that I was tucked up to my shoulder and almost didn't make it!

lynsay 0
cleaning lady 1

guilt trips don't just come from your mother

2010-06-10T13:10:00.004-04:00

So I am pretty sure that the cleaning lady is trying to guilt/embarass me into some pre-cleaning lady cleaning. Whenever we have friends or family come to stay we have the her come by and do a good solid job so that people don't think that we are scuzzy college kids (which is sometimes what this place looks like). So today is that day, and I accidentally came home while she was still here. She said, "oh sorry, still here but almost done. It was a LOT of dusting". Now, this isn't even the first time that she has said that to me.Hmmmm, is she trying to give me a hint? Are her sneezes and sniffling due to all the dust in our apartment and not some slight ragweed allergies? When she says that to me I just look down at the floor and say "oh yea, sorry i know", when honestly what I want to say is......."well yea, I don't like cleaning hence you being here!"

And if she doesn't like all the accumulated dust, then she is really going to hate all the little bits of blown up canadian bacon in the microwave she is about to find!

just because you walk a little dog doesn't mean you have to be a little bitch

2010-04-05T10:44:00.004-04:00

Dear girl in my building with the small dog,

With the arrival of the beautiful and sunny weather I thought everyone would be in a great mood, but you proved me wrong. After enjoying a nice morning walk with Dolly in which she came across a lot of dogs in which she had great interactions we walk into the lobby and Dolly ensues with her "I-just-had-a-great-walk" happy dance. She then heard the jingle of dog tags that lets her know another dog is coming around the corner and she gets excited. She sees your little dog and goes running over to play. Your dog obviously wasn't in to it because as Dolly goes running over your dog cowers to the other side of the hallway and keeps moving. Okay, that's fine. Dolly knows that not all dogs need to love her. So I pull her leash a little bit to keep her from chasing your dog. But no barking or attacking occurred. Just some play chasing. Was it really necessary to make a snoody face and comment as if my dog just ate the face off of yours. Really, girl? Like your dog is that cute anyway! Dolly can get way better. Change the attitude and get a life........preferably a happier one!

Love and wet kisses
Lynsay and Dolly

in retrospect.....I have made progress

2010-04-05T10:25:00.004-04:00

end of the story....I surpass the left over pizza and drink a green monster for breakfast

whole story....I often wonder if I will be able to keep the weight off. I always feel like one big cupcake binge will throw me right back into my size 18 jeans and all will be lost. But wait....there is a happy ending. First of all, I realized that I have kept the weight off so far. The majority of my weight was lost by last August, so I have already been "keeping it off" for 8 months. That feels pretty good. Another good sign is that I have been enjoying green monster shakes over the weekend (even selling steve on giving it a try and liking it even after I told him what was in it) This morning after walking Dolly and enjoying the beautiful weather I came home ready for some breakfast. I peered into the frig and saw a ton of left over pizza from last night (because steve loves a deal....buy 1 get 1) but I stayed strong and pulled out my spinach, soy milk, banana and frozen cherries and made my green monster. Hooray for me, I have made strides since last year! Lets do a SAT throwback to give an example of my pizza love :
Pizza is to Lynsay
as
Crack is to Whitney Houston

in retrospect.....I have made progress.....hooray!

don't be scared by the ugly color...it is yummy I promise
please note, I did notice the bag of mostly eaten cheetos behind my uber healthy breakfast drink. I know, more progress to go.........

you thought you ran a good race until.......

2010-03-23T08:31:00.003-04:00

you find out she had a faster finishing time than you did!
ugh, back to the treadmill drawing board

on a serious note......

2010-03-22T19:31:00.004-04:00

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone that supported me throughout my training. Whether it was through donating to my charity (Think Pink Rocks) or through texts, facebook or listening to me rant and rave I thank you. It is all of you that rocketed me through my training and allowed me to run with your generous donations, and I could not have done it without you!

I also want to thank the charity Think Pink Rocks. If you did not accept me onto your team I would not have been able to complete my goal of running the half-marathon. By accepting me to be part of your team, you allowed me to grow and reach for a personal goal and allowed me to feel great accomplishment at the end of the race. And hopefully, through the donations given by my friends and family we have come closer to finding a cure for cancer so that every women will have a chance to always live out their goals and wishes. It is the people that could not run for themselves that helped me through those last few miles.

For the people that are getting chemo and are too weak, for the people recovering from surgery, and for the people that were taken away too soon.......I also ran for you

woohoo! I ran the half-marathon and lived to tell the tale!

2010-03-22T18:36:00.018-04:00

Hey everyone, get this!
After months of having to listen to me whine about running and question my ability to live up to my goal of running a half-marathon it is over!
And I did it!!!!

So first let's give the beautiful version of the race............
It was 55 degrees at the beginning of the race in which 15,000+ people were running
With my wonderful husband and parents in the crowd along with thousands of others with signs and noise makers it was uber exciting and helped propel the first 6 miles quickly
We kicked butt on the hills because we have been training on those god awful man-made hell hills for the past 5 months, but we were passing people like a fat kid going after cake...it was awesome
After running 8 miles in the park we ventured out onto 7th Ave which took us into Times Square
We turned at 42nd St and finished the last 3 miles on a straight away down the West Side Highway
They had different areas with music to help us along and the finish line was pumping Lady Gaga and screams from the crowd
HOORAY I DID IT!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP.......I.........DID.........IT!
Afterwards we grabbed our medals and some water and post-race snacks
Met up with Steve and the 'rents and took some pics
Took the subway home, showered and then went to Sarabeth's for my fav....potato waffles!
That pretty much finished out my day as the rest was filled with naps and New Moon.
What a day.........what a day

Now, the parts that you leave out........except to the ones you love (because they get you and won't judge!)
We had to get up at 5:30 the morning of the race and until we left at 6:30 I was nothing but stressed over pooping. Sheesh! But believe me, nothing is worse than having to run in the am before pooping, let alone running 13 miles! Believe me......try it
It took about 15 minutes to even cross the starting line because out of the 15,000+ people running I was number 13,000somethingorother
btw, I was apparently one of the only people that did not fluff their finishing times because there were people that had lower numbers on their bibs that I was passing in the first mile because.......THEY WERE WALKING! yea, seriously people.....stop lying to yourself and NYRR
I realized that I really have to work on running and drinking out of paper cups as each time I tried to grab some water and drink while walking I snarfed most up my nose and the rest went on my shirt......something to work on for next time
Bad news...I still lost the will to live....good news, I lost it at mile 10 instead of 6......that's called growth people!
The last straight away of 3.1 miles was pretty brutal
I was dizzy and couldn't feel my legs for the last 1.5 miles but refused to walk or stop
Unfortunately like most other runners I am apparently not driven by the finish line
I kept thinking about "turning it up" for the last mile and my legs just wouldn't listen
Oh well.........finished in 2:11
HOORAY I DID IT!!!
HOLY CRAP...........I..........DID.........IT!!! I got my medal and water (since now I could actually get some in my mouth!) and met up with my parents and Steve
Steve made pics happen immediately, hence my super creepy eyes of running death! haha
Honestly I felt pretty crappy for at least 30 min after running
I was getting super dizzy and nauseous and people's faces were turning yellow/gray......hmmm probably not a good thing
Anywoo......sat down for a few minutes and ate an apple and people's faces returned for normal (hooray, I didn't pass out! I'm such an athlete! haha)
We walk to the subway......like a mile.......I swear
Then we have to transfer twice because of construction so it took FOREVER to get home
At one point on the subway Steve said "What's wrong"
Me : "seriously!? I just ran 13 miles then had to walk a mile to the freakin subway. My feet hurt, my hip hurts, my knee hurts, I'm nauseous, I'm dizzy and I smell."
Steve: "that's it, do you want to take another picture?"
Me : "ugh, no! How come yesterday you had us take a cab home because you were afraid Dolly was tired after going to the dog park for 20 minutes when she just stood there but today I can run for 2 hours and you make me walk to the subway!?"
Steve : "you should be happy, that's how much I think of you. I thought Dolly was too tired, but figured you are fine"
Me : ** eye rolling ** then another wave of nausea overcomes me so I can't say anything because I have to put my head between my legs to avoid passing out
Steve : "So how did you feel after the 13 miles"
Me : "Okay I guess"
Steve : "Like you could do another 13 miles to do a whole marathon?"
Me : **more nausea**

Overall though I will probably do another half-marathon
Next up......Diva Half-Marathon on Long Island in October
something about it is calling me.......maybe it's the boas and champagne!

in retrospect 13.1 miles is a freakin long way to run (aka why did I sign up for a half-marathon)

2010-03-01T18:07:00.005-05:00

End of the story : I.....am.....exhausted!

Whole story : During my weight loss journey I have used running as a great exercise regimen. It feels great to run outside on a beautiful day with the birds chirping and the kids playing.......or at least I thought. Back in November after running a 10K (6 miles) race I decided that it would be a great goal to run a half-marathon (13.1 miles). So I chose the NYC Half-Marathon in March as my goal. I started training in November and each weekend have slowly increased my long runs. This past weekend I ran 12. I now hate chirping birds, and laughing kids in the park make me vomit. (literally once.....but that was more GU related than kid related) While they are enjoying their beautiful day frolicking I am running by them grunting, foaming at the mouth and chafing. Yes, chafing. I have to apply anti-chafe (a deodorant type wax that you apply to various places on your body...will spare you the specifics...so that you don't rub the skin off your body because of how long you are running) So, 3 weeks until the half-marathon and I am definitely starting to question why I wanted to do this in the first place. Yes, it definitely feels hard core to say that you ran 10-11 miles in 20 degree weather, but during the actual run I don't feel hard core. I feel exhausted. This past weekend when I was running with my fellow running buddies and at mile 8 Chris asked me how I was feeling. I responded with "I have lost all will to live"...then laughed, kinda. I then told him and Hayley that we should really re-evaluate if we really need to run this half-marathon and asked them why they ever listened to a fat girl with a goal! Never a good idea. But a goal is a goal, and I think that the excitement of race day and the crowd will energize me through the 13.1 miles. I have to remember the running mantra that many runners use........I can, I will, I am able.

hmm.....in retrospect 13.1 miles is a freakin long way to run

in retrospect.....nope, no change

2010-02-10T23:41:00.003-05:00

um.........no

in retrospect.....nope, no change

in retrospect....maybe babies and dogs can get along

2010-02-03T22:07:00.007-05:00

End of the story....dog + baby = giggles

Whole story....dogs and babies playing together always make me nervous. If it is a small dog it makes me nervous because they are the same height. If it is a large dog it makes me nervous because then the babies look like a yummy little snack. It's partially our fault though, right? Dogs and babies don't know any better. If you play with a dog and let them bite at your fingers they aren't going to know which teeny fingers they aren't supposed to nip at. And if you let babies pull your hair, they aren't going to know when not to grab a fist full and pull. But put the two together and you could have some problems (right mo-mo? p.s. dolly sends her love!) But this you tube video shows that sometimes dogs and babies just get each other and can have tons of fun together!

in retrospect....maybe babies and dogs can get along

**note to my mother (and maybe some others)** click on the word giggles to see the video that I am talking about....figured that you might not have realized what I was talking about :)

**another note** make sure to have the volume on because otherwise it does kinda look like the dog is trying to eat the baby

in retrospect.... my shirt was totally see thru

2010-01-31T17:38:00.014-05:00

End of the story...thanks for the new shirt mom!

Whole story...my parents came up to visit Steve and I this weekend which is always fun. My parents had recently gone to the Pocono outlets and stopped by the Anne Taylor Loft store and bought me a couple of shirts because they know i LOVE that place! Well, last night I was going out for Sarah's birthday (shout out to the birthday girl!) and decided to wear one of the new shirts that my mom brought with a cute sparkly cardigan. I was feeling good, having a great dinner and a few glasses of wine. Sarah said that she wanted a pic with me and Jennie. We took the picture and went to review it to make sure everyone looked cute before we sit down and..........gasp! My shirt is totally see thru. Damn it.

Oh well, back to the dinner and drinks!

This morning I told my mom about the shirt and showed her the picture and she said...."are you wearing a pink bra? Why would you wear a pink bra?" To which I replied, "because I thought I was wearing a BLACK shirt!"

So I said that I was thinking of putting this in my blog but didn't know if it was too much. Again, another shocker from my mom. Instead of being embarrassed or saying "no, you are absolutely not putting a picture of you in a see thru shirt on your blog" she said "oh, I'm going to make it in your blog! Hooray!" Oh man.......

in retrospect....my shirt was totally see thru

p.s. I am not the only person this has ever happened too.....here is the proof. It happens to the best of us....and britney spears

in retrospect...I probably don't need 8 winter running jackets

2010-01-28T15:40:00.004-05:00

End of the story...no room in my dresser because there are too many running jackets

Whole story...as many of you know, in the past year I have slowly become a bit of a runner. And I mean slowly. When I first started to glance over at the dreadmill in the gym I thought, "ugh". I won't lie,running is not enjoyable at the beginning. I couldn't run for more than 5 minutes at first and a lot of wheezing, bouncing and cursing went on. But then one day I found myself actually enjoying a 30 minute run (gasp! I know). The wind in your hair, the bugs in your mouth. (seriously, if you run outside it's eventually going to happen....low cal protein) So now that running and I are on good terms with each other I am training for the NYC half-marathon that is this March. During the long runs on the weekend I run outside in Central Park because running on the treadmill for more than one hour at a time makes me want to run into a brick wall and end it all. Well, it seems that each weekend it gets chilly and for most runs this winter it has been in the 20s. So I thought...I must wear the appropriate clothes during my run to stay warm. It started with me asking for 1 cool weather jacket and 1 cold weather jacket for my birthday. I loved them! And I discovered "cuffins" (cuffs on the jacket that can be turned into mittens) and I now love them more than muffins. But then I thought, I can't just have one jacket to run outside in, other people might notice and think that I am gross (yes I am narcissistic enough to think that the other runners in Central Park notice what clothes I am wearing). So then I stopped by Lululemon (just to look) and bought another jacket. Then I went to the outlets and bought 2 more jackets from Lululemon. Oh, did I mention that the last 3 jackets were the same exact jacket just in different colors? Yea, I think I need an intervention.

But I also look super cute when I am running!

in retrospect...I probably don't need 8 winter running jackets

in retrospect....those with undiagnosed OCD probably shouldn't have a blog

2010-01-25T16:08:00.004-05:00

End of the story....4 hours spent on awesome blog creation

Whole story....so I am attempting to start another blog to fill empty time at home and to bring some smiles to others at my expense. While creating the blog I felt the constant pull to continue adding more....finding more...to make the blog better, more superior! So I began searching other blogs to see what they had that I could have. Undiagnosed OCD, ugh. This reminds me of a time during PA school when I so wanted to avoid studying that I made a 30 minute slide show that took months! So 4 hours later do I have an awesomely cool blog with a neat background and cute dogs? Sure. But I am still sitting in my pajamas, have no food for the rest of the week, and never made it to the gym. And damn it! Now Oprah is on with Rosie O'Donnell......I have to watch that! I wonder if there is a way to post Oprah clips on my blog...................

In retrospect....those with undiagnosed OCD probably shouldn't have a blog

in retrospect.....too....much....wine

2010-01-25T13:19:00.004-05:00

End of the story.....we fall asleep at 10:30pm

Whole story......
Just returned from the 4th annual girl's wine weekend
A group of SHU girlfriends have been traveling across the northeast each year in an attempt to find and conquer every bottle of wine that crosses our path
This year we traveled to New York to Nam's hood for our weekend
We went to two wineries
First was Brotherhood Winery where we attempted to buy 3 flights each, and were scared off by the evil starring eyes of the cashier after telling us that we could only choose 1. So we had 2 flights there (haha evil lady)....wine was alright
We then went to Palaia Winery which at first look was questionable with the lack of anyone else there and the abundance of Simpson's signs . It actually ended up being really cute and had great wine!
We had a free tasting flight and then bought a bottle of wine to enjoy on the porch before heading to dinner
We then went to dinner and had 1 bottle of wine while waiting for our table
Then sat down for a great meal and finished it off with 2 more bottles of wine
Apparently we forgot that we aren't 21 anymore
The night ended prematurely at 10:30 as soon as we got back to Nam's house
Jennie fell asleep as soon as her butt hit the couch....well lets be honest Jennie fell asleep in the car
Sarah instructed me (in her ever so soothing drunk-sarah-speak) that we were going to sleep now and to help her pull out the futon
The night was followed by many walks/stumbles to the frig for more water and awaking the next morning looking like zombies

In retrospect....too....much....wine

But I do love my girls and can't wait for next year!
p.s. we missed you Colleen!